Money, consciousness and abundance

Things are settling down.
The energy is coming down from Christmas.
I can feel myself becoming restless and impatient inside.
I find it hard to be present here and now, no matter what.
Difficult one...
I want to be conscious and present while I am in France.
To stay aware of what is going on, even when I want to fall asleep and shutdown.
To try and stay conscious 5 more seconds before I react and get angry, sad, or frustrated. During these 5 seconds, the miracle can happen where I don't need to react anymore. Or not, but every 5 seconds more I can wait before reacting, I am learning something more about myself, my dynamics and my patterns.
Well worth it.
But at the moment, I just want to fall asleep and indulge in feeling like I want to be somewhere else, doing something else, with someone else.
Yet I don't quite know where I'd like to be, what I'd like to do, or with whom.
I know there are things to sort out before I can go anywhere.
MONEY. I need to find a way to earn money.
I want to earn money from home. I want to be able to work from home, wherever home is. I want to be able to work in my slippers and bathrobe if I so choose.
I want to be able to earn money from France, Switzerland, California or Honolulu if I want to.
I want to feel abundant. Right now, I don't feel abundant. I am painfully aware of my savings running very very thin in my bank account. I NEED TO DO SOMETHING is my background thought. The one that tightens my stomach and wakes me up hyperventilating.
Enough with the scarcity thoughts.
I can live in abundance. I just need to choose it.
When I feel scarce in money, I feel scarce in everything in my life: love, food, security. Scarcity makes me want to crawl back to bed in the middle of the day and sleep for a very long time.
Yet life around me is abundant.
Why can't I see it? Why can't I feel it?
Or rather, why do I choose not to see and feel it?