Today was my 15th day of walk.
Wow.
I thought I wouldn't have painful feet by now, but guess what! Yes, they still hurt.
I think since I overdid it one day a week ago and could barely walk when I arrived at the albergue, they haven't properly recovered. They seem to stay swollen underneath all the time now.
So if I stop often enough and massage my feet, and don't do over 20 or 22 km a day it is manageable, but they really don't let me forget about them. So I think I will take it easy again over the next few days, trying to walk 15 to 20 km a day only, which is actually quite pleasant because it means I can arrive early and relax in the afternoon. I can feel my feet are very happy about this resolution.
Apart from that it is still cold, and very windy.
I never thought I would be so cold at the end of May in Spain! But really I am walking with almost all of my clothes on me, which is a problem then when I need to wash them, because I get cold while they dry. I am hesitating to buy more jumpers or another pair of trousers though, because I am thinking, if suddently we hit a heatwave, I will have to carry them for nothing. But I suppose I could always send them to Santiago to wait for me until I get there! That is a possibility anyway.
Well I won't be able to buy anything today though, as I am staying in Castrojeriz, a little village of less than 1000 people, where the only thing I saw open was a little alimentación shop and a bar. Even the churches are closed, which is a pity as they are supposed to be lovely.
But well, that means more rest for me and my feet and I can take it.
I am staying in a little lovely albergue, where I could do a wash in a real washing maching, and even use the dryer!! And there is a kitchen, so I invented a dish of pasta, olives, green asparagus and sardines in tomato sauce and well, it was lovely. Exactly what I needed.
Yesterday, I left Burgos in the morning. Burgos was nice, plenty of things to see (you might understand why my feet are cross with me), but still a city, and I decided to stay in a tiny refuge 26 km out of the town, where there was no hot water, barely electricity, only a well where we could brush our teeth and wash our clothes and more if we were really up to it (I don't think anyone did much more than washing their face and hands, as the weather was cold and windy and the water veeeeery cold). It was really in the middle of nowhere, there were no toilet either, only fields around...
But it was nice and friendly and I enjoyed the peace out of the city. I felt like I could truly recharge my batteries.
I was happy to have a hot shower today and to wash my clothes though!
And now that I have learnt to let go, it feels like the encounters with people are more intense, deeper, even though they last less. So far anyway.
It is often the case on the camino that we meet people once, and then again a few days later, or sometimes much longer later, and we can then reconnect.
But I think the most incredible encounter so far is with myself.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Rain, cold, new shoes and letting go
I haven't found an internet connection for quite a while, so excuse my silence.
It doesn't mean that anything is wrong, quite the contrary really.
Last time I posted here I had bought new shoes.
Well guess what! I bought new shoes again!!!
You see, the shoes I bought in Estella were cheap and not that great, and after a few days I realised that they were really making my feet sore, so when I arrived in Logroño, which was the next big town I could be in, I decided to go and look for a proper trecking or sports shop, which I found, and I bought proper nice timberland shoes, gore tex and all, and new antishock insoles.
However, of course it still means new shoes, and it makes feet sore.
So the next day I did a small enough day, maybe 16 or 17km, so my feet could get used to the shoes. And they were ok. I was all happy.
The next day I had planned on walking either 10 or 16km, depending on how it would go and how my feet would feel. But I started walking with a German lady in the middle of the day (I had met her already but we bumped into each other again in Nájera, where we both decided to visit a gorgeous monastery and church), and she decided to continue after the 16km.
And I ignored the plea of my feet to try and foll0w her, only to discover after a few kilometers that I had lost her, it was starting to rain, and I had another 8km to walk at least before finding any place to stay for the night.
By the time I reached the albergue, I was soaked, exhausted, hungry, quite annoyed with myself, and my feet were screaming with pain. I could have cried.
On top of it I walked at least 2km too many to try and find the albergue.
But I learnt my lesson.
Never again will I ignore my body when I feel I need to stop. No matter who I am walking with and how nice they are.
For that day nevertheless, the experience ended up being great, as I ended up in a tiny refuge, with only 8 beds, and a lovely Austrian lady who was taking care of it.
She gently took my rucksack of my back when I arrived, gave me a glass of water, later a glass of wine, and the whole experience in that albergue was so beautiful it made me feel good again.
Also, as you have probably noticed, I am now saying "I" and not "we" anymore.
I realised after a few days of walking with Alice that really I want, and need, to walk on my own.
I can't, and don't want to just hook up with someone and then do everything together. The reason it is easy to hook up with someone on the camino, is fear. It is easier to be two when things get tough, when we want to organise where to stay, if we want to discuss whether to try and book an albergue or not (it is theoretically not possible to book a place in an albergue in Spain, but some private albergues accept bookings), etc... Basically all the things that would mean we don't have to trust 100% for everything that will come to us.
Alice was rather a worrier time and tended to have a murky enough energy, and it was important for me to cut the tie, even though I could feel that she didn't understand what happened and that it was painful for her.
I really need to stay with myself, centered and focused, so I can really go MY way, and walk MY camino, and not someone else's.
I learnt in the past few days that one of the messages of the camino for me is, once again, to LET GO.
This path is like that. We meet people all the time, sometimes not so nice, but sometimes really really nice. Sometimes we can feel that a special connection is being made with someone. That happened already three times to me. But then the people we connect to leave earlier or later the next day, walk longer or less, and we lose them. Sometimes for a few days, sometimes we don't see them again at all. And that is part of the way.
It is part of the experience to welcome the new, and let go of the old. And believe me, the new becomes old very quickly.
What an adventure!!
It doesn't mean that anything is wrong, quite the contrary really.
Last time I posted here I had bought new shoes.
Well guess what! I bought new shoes again!!!
You see, the shoes I bought in Estella were cheap and not that great, and after a few days I realised that they were really making my feet sore, so when I arrived in Logroño, which was the next big town I could be in, I decided to go and look for a proper trecking or sports shop, which I found, and I bought proper nice timberland shoes, gore tex and all, and new antishock insoles.
However, of course it still means new shoes, and it makes feet sore.
So the next day I did a small enough day, maybe 16 or 17km, so my feet could get used to the shoes. And they were ok. I was all happy.
The next day I had planned on walking either 10 or 16km, depending on how it would go and how my feet would feel. But I started walking with a German lady in the middle of the day (I had met her already but we bumped into each other again in Nájera, where we both decided to visit a gorgeous monastery and church), and she decided to continue after the 16km.
And I ignored the plea of my feet to try and foll0w her, only to discover after a few kilometers that I had lost her, it was starting to rain, and I had another 8km to walk at least before finding any place to stay for the night.
By the time I reached the albergue, I was soaked, exhausted, hungry, quite annoyed with myself, and my feet were screaming with pain. I could have cried.
On top of it I walked at least 2km too many to try and find the albergue.
But I learnt my lesson.
Never again will I ignore my body when I feel I need to stop. No matter who I am walking with and how nice they are.
For that day nevertheless, the experience ended up being great, as I ended up in a tiny refuge, with only 8 beds, and a lovely Austrian lady who was taking care of it.
She gently took my rucksack of my back when I arrived, gave me a glass of water, later a glass of wine, and the whole experience in that albergue was so beautiful it made me feel good again.
Also, as you have probably noticed, I am now saying "I" and not "we" anymore.
I realised after a few days of walking with Alice that really I want, and need, to walk on my own.
I can't, and don't want to just hook up with someone and then do everything together. The reason it is easy to hook up with someone on the camino, is fear. It is easier to be two when things get tough, when we want to organise where to stay, if we want to discuss whether to try and book an albergue or not (it is theoretically not possible to book a place in an albergue in Spain, but some private albergues accept bookings), etc... Basically all the things that would mean we don't have to trust 100% for everything that will come to us.
Alice was rather a worrier time and tended to have a murky enough energy, and it was important for me to cut the tie, even though I could feel that she didn't understand what happened and that it was painful for her.
I really need to stay with myself, centered and focused, so I can really go MY way, and walk MY camino, and not someone else's.
I learnt in the past few days that one of the messages of the camino for me is, once again, to LET GO.
This path is like that. We meet people all the time, sometimes not so nice, but sometimes really really nice. Sometimes we can feel that a special connection is being made with someone. That happened already three times to me. But then the people we connect to leave earlier or later the next day, walk longer or less, and we lose them. Sometimes for a few days, sometimes we don't see them again at all. And that is part of the way.
It is part of the experience to welcome the new, and let go of the old. And believe me, the new becomes old very quickly.
What an adventure!!
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
New shoes, new walking sticks
Yesterday started tough.
The day before was really hard, and took its toll yesterday as well.
Alice and I were both tired, and the last bit before Estella felt like torture.
Yet it wasn't raining and the path wasn't too hard. But my feet were so sore, the shoes had really given up on me and I could feel it.
It was really tough. So in Estella we asked a policewoman where I could buy some "botas para andar" and off we went into town, to try and find the shop called Goyache that she had advised.
I bought some walking shoes that cost me only 40 euro, after much trying on and walking around and trying to talk to the man with my broken Spanish. I wasn't convinced by the boots but at that stage I was desperate and was scared I wouldn't find any other shop open, as it was already past 12am, and most shops in Spain close between 12 and 4pm.
The nice bonus was that I bought two mountaineering walking stick with antishock system and all, as I noticed that just one walking stick wasn't enough, and my left knee was getting sore.
Since then, my left knee feels much better.
Today I expected to be in agony after walking almost 20 km with the new shoes, but my feet were sore in a "normal" way only. So we'll see how it goes tomorrow.
It seems the weather has turned nicer, and it gets really warm by the end of the morning now.
And I keep meeting new people and having interesting conversations, as well as drinking nice Spanish wine...
I hope to have more internet time next time to talk more about the encounters I made.
In the meantime, be reassured, all is well, and life is beautiful.
I haven't fallen in love yet, although Spain is not far from taking my heart completely, with its gorgeous landscapes, lovely people and easy going way of life.
And who knows what might come yet!
The day before was really hard, and took its toll yesterday as well.
Alice and I were both tired, and the last bit before Estella felt like torture.
Yet it wasn't raining and the path wasn't too hard. But my feet were so sore, the shoes had really given up on me and I could feel it.
It was really tough. So in Estella we asked a policewoman where I could buy some "botas para andar" and off we went into town, to try and find the shop called Goyache that she had advised.
I bought some walking shoes that cost me only 40 euro, after much trying on and walking around and trying to talk to the man with my broken Spanish. I wasn't convinced by the boots but at that stage I was desperate and was scared I wouldn't find any other shop open, as it was already past 12am, and most shops in Spain close between 12 and 4pm.
The nice bonus was that I bought two mountaineering walking stick with antishock system and all, as I noticed that just one walking stick wasn't enough, and my left knee was getting sore.
Since then, my left knee feels much better.
Today I expected to be in agony after walking almost 20 km with the new shoes, but my feet were sore in a "normal" way only. So we'll see how it goes tomorrow.
It seems the weather has turned nicer, and it gets really warm by the end of the morning now.
And I keep meeting new people and having interesting conversations, as well as drinking nice Spanish wine...
I hope to have more internet time next time to talk more about the encounters I made.
In the meantime, be reassured, all is well, and life is beautiful.
I haven't fallen in love yet, although Spain is not far from taking my heart completely, with its gorgeous landscapes, lovely people and easy going way of life.
And who knows what might come yet!
Sunday, May 20, 2007
mud, rain and thunder
Today was tough.
I had heard that the third and fourth days walking were potentially the hardest, but this was really really hard, even for people who had been walking for longer than I had.
It started quite well, with a lovely sunrise on a nicely foggy fresh morning. Plenty of birds, and flowers, absolutely gorgeous.
Then at around 9am, it started raining really badly. It was a big storm really, with lightning and thunder and all, and by the time I and my friend Alice arrived in Obanos, we were soaked. So we stopped in a bar, had a coffee and something to eat, and chatted for a while (i.e. almost an hour and a half...).
By the time we arrived in Puento La Reina (meaning bridge of the queen because the queen at some stage got the bridge built for the pilgrims because she was sick of seeing so many of them killed by the river), we could almost have stopped there for the night, as it was about 12 and the albergue was opening. But we felt fine, so we decided to book a bed in an albergue (which is rarely possible, but we were lucky with this one) 8 or 10 km later, and walk them.
However... Most of the path was mud. Some of it was very steep, and we ended up exhausted. Really exhausted.
But we made it.
My feet are sore for the first time tonight, and I am thinking of buying new shoes tomorrow, and throwing away the ones I have, as I noticed today that they are not comfortable enough to finish the way, and they are too old, the soles are too damaged. I prefer to have sore feet for two days while I break the new shoes in, and be fine for the next month, rather than be miserable for the rest of the walk. So there.
Apart from the hard day walk, it was beautiful, and the weather was fine this afternoon. Not that we enjoyed it that much, but at least it allowed our clothes to dry...
The meal tonight at the albergue was absolutely fabulous, and the lady who takes care of it is really lovely.
And as usual, I keep meeting more and more people and that is really nice.
So Ultreia, as they say!
I had heard that the third and fourth days walking were potentially the hardest, but this was really really hard, even for people who had been walking for longer than I had.
It started quite well, with a lovely sunrise on a nicely foggy fresh morning. Plenty of birds, and flowers, absolutely gorgeous.
Then at around 9am, it started raining really badly. It was a big storm really, with lightning and thunder and all, and by the time I and my friend Alice arrived in Obanos, we were soaked. So we stopped in a bar, had a coffee and something to eat, and chatted for a while (i.e. almost an hour and a half...).
By the time we arrived in Puento La Reina (meaning bridge of the queen because the queen at some stage got the bridge built for the pilgrims because she was sick of seeing so many of them killed by the river), we could almost have stopped there for the night, as it was about 12 and the albergue was opening. But we felt fine, so we decided to book a bed in an albergue (which is rarely possible, but we were lucky with this one) 8 or 10 km later, and walk them.
However... Most of the path was mud. Some of it was very steep, and we ended up exhausted. Really exhausted.
But we made it.
My feet are sore for the first time tonight, and I am thinking of buying new shoes tomorrow, and throwing away the ones I have, as I noticed today that they are not comfortable enough to finish the way, and they are too old, the soles are too damaged. I prefer to have sore feet for two days while I break the new shoes in, and be fine for the next month, rather than be miserable for the rest of the walk. So there.
Apart from the hard day walk, it was beautiful, and the weather was fine this afternoon. Not that we enjoyed it that much, but at least it allowed our clothes to dry...
The meal tonight at the albergue was absolutely fabulous, and the lady who takes care of it is really lovely.
And as usual, I keep meeting more and more people and that is really nice.
So Ultreia, as they say!
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Third day
So this is my third day.
Even though I was in Pamplona yesterday evening I didn't get a chance to go to an internet cafe.
I walked 21.5km yesterday. Thought I wouldn't manage, and had planned to stop at the town before Pamplona, 5 or 6 km beforehand, but met a nice lady from Geneva (well who lives in Geneva but originally from the German speaking part of Switzerland, near Schaffhausen), and who was walking until Pamplona, and before I knew it I was there as well.
We got the last two places in a very nice private albergue held by Germans, and populated mostly by Germans as well, and even got a nice room, just the two of us, at the very top of the house, with steep stairs to get in, a tower really. We could sleep really well and so today was much easier than if we hadn't slept well. We even got breakfast!! Not like the first morning where there was no breakfast, and the dining room was closed when we left, so we couldn't even get a coffee from the machine before leaving.
Yesterday was gorgeous and warm, so in the afternoon I went into town and tried to look for the churches that are not to be missed in Pamplona. I wanted to buy some food as well for today and yesterday evening, and by the time I had found all I wanted I was too tired to go looking for an internet cafe or indeed a church.
It seems that now, on the camino francés, there is a sort of race that every pilgrim goes through in order to find a bed in the evening. When I say evening, think 12:30 pm or so.
By 1pm at the latest, most albergues are full. That makes it very hard to enjoy the path, stop to look around, relax, take pictures, and enjoy life. Pilgrims leave the albergues as soon as possible, often just after 6am, and from then on, the main thought is: will I find a bed? Thinking that most days we try to walk 20 km or more, which takes at least 5 hours considering the weight of the bag, and the state of the path, it leaves little time for breaks or relaxation.
Because of that we are more tired. As a result when we get into a town or a city, we really have little strength left to go walking around town and play the tourist.
So really pilgrims are not tourists, and maybe that's ok, but I met many people who are disappointed that they can't take their time.
For me so far it has worked well, but I am thinking of trying and stopping every day if possible somewhere between the two usual places that most people stop at. That way I should have less people and more chances of getting a bed.
But we will see how it goes.
So far things are good, my shoulders are a bit sore, but getting better, and I feel already stronger when I am walking. Yet today is the third day and I heard that the third and fourth day are the worst. Well, if this is the worst, it is FINE!!
Even though I was in Pamplona yesterday evening I didn't get a chance to go to an internet cafe.
I walked 21.5km yesterday. Thought I wouldn't manage, and had planned to stop at the town before Pamplona, 5 or 6 km beforehand, but met a nice lady from Geneva (well who lives in Geneva but originally from the German speaking part of Switzerland, near Schaffhausen), and who was walking until Pamplona, and before I knew it I was there as well.
We got the last two places in a very nice private albergue held by Germans, and populated mostly by Germans as well, and even got a nice room, just the two of us, at the very top of the house, with steep stairs to get in, a tower really. We could sleep really well and so today was much easier than if we hadn't slept well. We even got breakfast!! Not like the first morning where there was no breakfast, and the dining room was closed when we left, so we couldn't even get a coffee from the machine before leaving.
Yesterday was gorgeous and warm, so in the afternoon I went into town and tried to look for the churches that are not to be missed in Pamplona. I wanted to buy some food as well for today and yesterday evening, and by the time I had found all I wanted I was too tired to go looking for an internet cafe or indeed a church.
It seems that now, on the camino francés, there is a sort of race that every pilgrim goes through in order to find a bed in the evening. When I say evening, think 12:30 pm or so.
By 1pm at the latest, most albergues are full. That makes it very hard to enjoy the path, stop to look around, relax, take pictures, and enjoy life. Pilgrims leave the albergues as soon as possible, often just after 6am, and from then on, the main thought is: will I find a bed? Thinking that most days we try to walk 20 km or more, which takes at least 5 hours considering the weight of the bag, and the state of the path, it leaves little time for breaks or relaxation.
Because of that we are more tired. As a result when we get into a town or a city, we really have little strength left to go walking around town and play the tourist.
So really pilgrims are not tourists, and maybe that's ok, but I met many people who are disappointed that they can't take their time.
For me so far it has worked well, but I am thinking of trying and stopping every day if possible somewhere between the two usual places that most people stop at. That way I should have less people and more chances of getting a bed.
But we will see how it goes.
So far things are good, my shoulders are a bit sore, but getting better, and I feel already stronger when I am walking. Yet today is the third day and I heard that the third and fourth day are the worst. Well, if this is the worst, it is FINE!!
Thursday, May 17, 2007
First day on the path, ouch!!
So today I started walking.
From Burguete and not from Roncesvalles, because when I tried to find somewhere to stay in Roncesvalles yesterday with my aunt, after driving down, everything was full. So we went 3 km further, which meant 3km less today, and I was very thankful for that today.
I have walked 17.5 km today, lots of tough slopes up and down - we are still in the Pyrenees really - and many places were slippery because of the foggy rain that was making everything wet. I am glad I found a bed in the albergue here, as the first few albergues I came across were complete.
Of course my feet are sore, my knees, thighs and shoulders as well, but it was mostly a nice day, not too hot and I met plenty of people.
We'll see how things go later on. I won't make it much longer now as I have only a few minutes left with the internet connection.
So far, so good!
From Burguete and not from Roncesvalles, because when I tried to find somewhere to stay in Roncesvalles yesterday with my aunt, after driving down, everything was full. So we went 3 km further, which meant 3km less today, and I was very thankful for that today.
I have walked 17.5 km today, lots of tough slopes up and down - we are still in the Pyrenees really - and many places were slippery because of the foggy rain that was making everything wet. I am glad I found a bed in the albergue here, as the first few albergues I came across were complete.
Of course my feet are sore, my knees, thighs and shoulders as well, but it was mostly a nice day, not too hot and I met plenty of people.
We'll see how things go later on. I won't make it much longer now as I have only a few minutes left with the internet connection.
So far, so good!
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Tomorrow, tomorrow
I have at last emptied my suitcases.
I have put books on bookshelves, things in cupboards and drawers, and pictures on the walls.
I am officially settled in France, at my parents.
I couldn't imagine coming back after my one month walk to unemptied suitcases and a messy bedroom.
At least, I will feel like I have a place of my own when I come back.
Somehow, it makes me feel more joyful, and I feel like I can leave now, my heart lighter because I know I can come back home.
Amazing really if I think about it. I am about to leave everything and spend one month with all my possessions in a rucksack on my back. Talk about finding it hard to feel grounded!
Interestingly, I tend to need a home, somewhere cozy where I have all my stuff, where I can go and be alone and feel good. Somewhere I can feel everything I need to feel, a place that nurtures me and helps me to get over any hard time.
I was never attracted to the idea of backpacking around the world. Too superficial for me, and also too hard to live for a long time without a home.
And yet that's exactly what I am going to do for a month. But not quite.
I will only walk, and my point is not really touristic. It is more of an inner search, a longing for new faces, landscapes, and sides of my self to discover. I am going to walk. I will not see any place I cannot walk to. I won't fly here and there, leave the rucksack for a few days while I tour an area.
I will be a pilgrim. Looking for something, without quite knowing what it is.
Feeling that something is pushing me in my back, and obeying the inner voice that is pulling me forward, no matter in which direction, no matter how crazy it seems.
A very special time of my life is starting tomorrow.
I have put books on bookshelves, things in cupboards and drawers, and pictures on the walls.
I am officially settled in France, at my parents.
I couldn't imagine coming back after my one month walk to unemptied suitcases and a messy bedroom.
At least, I will feel like I have a place of my own when I come back.
Somehow, it makes me feel more joyful, and I feel like I can leave now, my heart lighter because I know I can come back home.
Amazing really if I think about it. I am about to leave everything and spend one month with all my possessions in a rucksack on my back. Talk about finding it hard to feel grounded!
Interestingly, I tend to need a home, somewhere cozy where I have all my stuff, where I can go and be alone and feel good. Somewhere I can feel everything I need to feel, a place that nurtures me and helps me to get over any hard time.
I was never attracted to the idea of backpacking around the world. Too superficial for me, and also too hard to live for a long time without a home.
And yet that's exactly what I am going to do for a month. But not quite.
I will only walk, and my point is not really touristic. It is more of an inner search, a longing for new faces, landscapes, and sides of my self to discover. I am going to walk. I will not see any place I cannot walk to. I won't fly here and there, leave the rucksack for a few days while I tour an area.
I will be a pilgrim. Looking for something, without quite knowing what it is.
Feeling that something is pushing me in my back, and obeying the inner voice that is pulling me forward, no matter in which direction, no matter how crazy it seems.
A very special time of my life is starting tomorrow.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Soon the first step
OK now I can feel it is time to start the walk soon.
I am as ready as I can be right now, and waiting more will only make me scared.
I already had my fear-migraine so that's done now, and I can start really doing it.
Of course I could prepare myself even more, redo my rucksack another few times to make sure I have everything I need and nothing I might not need, I could go walking another few times to try and do 20 km at least once with the bag before leaving.
But I feel that would only be procrastination.
Now is the time.
So I need to really trust, and make the leap. The most difficult is the first step, they say.
So let's take that first step, and go!!
I just called my aunt tonight because she will be the one who drives me to my starting point, just after the Pyrenees in Spain. She will come and collect me on Wednesday morning, so we have time to go down nicely, taking all the time we need, and I can start walking on Thursday morning.
And then off I go, and I can only trust that all will be well.
I know all will be well.
I am as ready as I can be right now, and waiting more will only make me scared.
I already had my fear-migraine so that's done now, and I can start really doing it.
Of course I could prepare myself even more, redo my rucksack another few times to make sure I have everything I need and nothing I might not need, I could go walking another few times to try and do 20 km at least once with the bag before leaving.
But I feel that would only be procrastination.
Now is the time.
So I need to really trust, and make the leap. The most difficult is the first step, they say.
So let's take that first step, and go!!
I just called my aunt tonight because she will be the one who drives me to my starting point, just after the Pyrenees in Spain. She will come and collect me on Wednesday morning, so we have time to go down nicely, taking all the time we need, and I can start walking on Thursday morning.
And then off I go, and I can only trust that all will be well.
I know all will be well.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Santiago, fear and joy
Today I had a pretty awful migraine. I have no idea where it came from, but it sure put me down for the day.
I started to feel the headache coming just before lunch, and then felt nauseous, so badly that I had to go to bed before the end of the meal.
I mostly spent my afternoon sleeping, waking up every time with my head thumping, and if I was brave enough to get up I was sure to have the nausea hurrying back after a few minutes.
It is only starting now to be better, so I could eat almost normally tonight, but I feel exhausted. Strange, after all the time I spent sleeping today!!
I wonder if somehow that migraine isn't a sign of some apprehension or fear in front of what I am about to start, i.e. the long hard walk to Santiago. The 5 to 6 hours walk every day in the Spanish heat, the worry about my shoes (are they not too old to manage 800km? I can already see the soles are worn, will they manage the distance?), being alone on the path, being in Spain where I barely speak the language, not knowing how things work there, will the bag not be too heavy (but then if I remove things from it now will I not miss them?). Yes, I can feel all these worries at the bottom of my mind, churning in me even when I am not aware of them.
I can also feel the excitement, the longing of my soul for the adventure, the freedom, the new people to meet and new landscapes to discover. And mostly the excitement of discovering myself throughout it all.
I started to feel the headache coming just before lunch, and then felt nauseous, so badly that I had to go to bed before the end of the meal.
I mostly spent my afternoon sleeping, waking up every time with my head thumping, and if I was brave enough to get up I was sure to have the nausea hurrying back after a few minutes.
It is only starting now to be better, so I could eat almost normally tonight, but I feel exhausted. Strange, after all the time I spent sleeping today!!
I wonder if somehow that migraine isn't a sign of some apprehension or fear in front of what I am about to start, i.e. the long hard walk to Santiago. The 5 to 6 hours walk every day in the Spanish heat, the worry about my shoes (are they not too old to manage 800km? I can already see the soles are worn, will they manage the distance?), being alone on the path, being in Spain where I barely speak the language, not knowing how things work there, will the bag not be too heavy (but then if I remove things from it now will I not miss them?). Yes, I can feel all these worries at the bottom of my mind, churning in me even when I am not aware of them.
I can also feel the excitement, the longing of my soul for the adventure, the freedom, the new people to meet and new landscapes to discover. And mostly the excitement of discovering myself throughout it all.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Last things to prepare...
Today I went into town to buy the last few things I need to go walking.
I bought some homeopathic remedies for first aid purposes, and am very happy that I got small tubes with granules that are really small and very light.
I have another few bits and pieces to get tomorrow, but mostly I have everything sorted so I can start thinking seriously of what I will put in the rucksack, in which pocket, and how heavy it will be. This part is a lot of fun. I always enjoyed sorting things out, knowing what belongs where, packing everything neatly. On top of it I always loved bags!!
Today was very hot here, the temperature reached 34°C!! It is a pleasure to walk around in shorts and T-shirt.
I am aware though that the heat makes walking harder. But that's OK. Santiago pilgrims leave very early in the morning anyway, in order to be at the next albergue around 12pm, and to avoid the heat as well.
Well I'd better go and organise my stuff now.
Talk soon!
I bought some homeopathic remedies for first aid purposes, and am very happy that I got small tubes with granules that are really small and very light.
I have another few bits and pieces to get tomorrow, but mostly I have everything sorted so I can start thinking seriously of what I will put in the rucksack, in which pocket, and how heavy it will be. This part is a lot of fun. I always enjoyed sorting things out, knowing what belongs where, packing everything neatly. On top of it I always loved bags!!
Today was very hot here, the temperature reached 34°C!! It is a pleasure to walk around in shorts and T-shirt.
I am aware though that the heat makes walking harder. But that's OK. Santiago pilgrims leave very early in the morning anyway, in order to be at the next albergue around 12pm, and to avoid the heat as well.
Well I'd better go and organise my stuff now.
Talk soon!
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Training, more training
Today I only walked 7km, but yesterday I did a bit over 13km, might have been 14 or so.
Yesterday the weather wasn't great, quite cloudy, but pleasantly warm with a light breeze. The ideal weather to walk. Not too hot, not too cold.
So I walked a big tour around the house, and I realised how beautiful it is everywhere around here.
I was walking mostly on the top of hills, and had an amazing view on the hills, little forests, vineyards and fields of cereal on both sides. I even saw a falcon and its baby hovering over a field. I wished I had taken my binoculars with me, but I became acutely aware today, when I tried to walk with a heavier bag, that every gram counts when I have to carry it.
The wheat is still green but already high in the fields. It feels like the whole of nature is blooming.
I could feel my heart singing as I was walking, almost flying, taking in the scenery and atmosphere around me. By the end of the walk I was still singing, but rather to give myself the courage to get over the last two or three kilometers. I think I will sing a lot while I walk towards Santiago. :-)
Today I just went to the next village, but even though I walked about half the distance of yesterday, my bag was heavier and it was harder.
We'll see how I feel tomorrow and what I'll do. I will just go with the flow. I have to buy the last few things I need for the trip, e.g. first aid stuff and so. Then I will have to really screen through absolutely everything I put in the rucksack.
Well, all that preparation is fun in a way. I can feel that a bit adventure is in front of me, and I am excited and scared at the same time.
The good thing is, I don't think anymore about not being grounded or being in a transition. I have a purpose, and nothing else matters much...
Yesterday the weather wasn't great, quite cloudy, but pleasantly warm with a light breeze. The ideal weather to walk. Not too hot, not too cold.
So I walked a big tour around the house, and I realised how beautiful it is everywhere around here.
I was walking mostly on the top of hills, and had an amazing view on the hills, little forests, vineyards and fields of cereal on both sides. I even saw a falcon and its baby hovering over a field. I wished I had taken my binoculars with me, but I became acutely aware today, when I tried to walk with a heavier bag, that every gram counts when I have to carry it.
The wheat is still green but already high in the fields. It feels like the whole of nature is blooming.
I could feel my heart singing as I was walking, almost flying, taking in the scenery and atmosphere around me. By the end of the walk I was still singing, but rather to give myself the courage to get over the last two or three kilometers. I think I will sing a lot while I walk towards Santiago. :-)
Today I just went to the next village, but even though I walked about half the distance of yesterday, my bag was heavier and it was harder.
We'll see how I feel tomorrow and what I'll do. I will just go with the flow. I have to buy the last few things I need for the trip, e.g. first aid stuff and so. Then I will have to really screen through absolutely everything I put in the rucksack.
Well, all that preparation is fun in a way. I can feel that a bit adventure is in front of me, and I am excited and scared at the same time.
The good thing is, I don't think anymore about not being grounded or being in a transition. I have a purpose, and nothing else matters much...
Sunday, May 6, 2007
New beginnings
So Nicolas Sarkozy won the presidential elections in France today. That is a major new page starting for France.
We'll see what comes from that. It felt like a lot of people really didn't know who to vote for. It was a tough one. And as usual, it is very difficult to know how he will actually lead the country.
So we'll wait and see I suppose. An incredible high number of people voted anyway so that's an interesting change. French people used to be disenchanted about politics, and it is amazing to see that over 84% of people voted.
In the meantime, I feel that I have settled a bit.
I haven't unpacked much, don't really feel like it yet. But I am not anxious about it anymore.
I have even started to go walking every day to train for the pilgrimage.
Yesterday I walked 7km, today 10km. I hope to get to 20km by the end of the week, as it is what I am going to walk most days for a month. So far so good, my feet are OK, even if I know I have to be careful with them, choose the socks wisely and find some good foot cream. I will start to train with the rucksack in a couple of days, and will load it so I know how I manage the weight on my back.
I am back into feeling joyful and thankful for exactly where I am.
Oh yeah, and my car has been sold in Ireland. I received a text message from my friend who was taking care of it for me in Ireland yesterday. So little by little, the last ties with Ireland are dissolving, making way for new adventures.
We'll see what comes from that. It felt like a lot of people really didn't know who to vote for. It was a tough one. And as usual, it is very difficult to know how he will actually lead the country.
So we'll wait and see I suppose. An incredible high number of people voted anyway so that's an interesting change. French people used to be disenchanted about politics, and it is amazing to see that over 84% of people voted.
In the meantime, I feel that I have settled a bit.
I haven't unpacked much, don't really feel like it yet. But I am not anxious about it anymore.
I have even started to go walking every day to train for the pilgrimage.
Yesterday I walked 7km, today 10km. I hope to get to 20km by the end of the week, as it is what I am going to walk most days for a month. So far so good, my feet are OK, even if I know I have to be careful with them, choose the socks wisely and find some good foot cream. I will start to train with the rucksack in a couple of days, and will load it so I know how I manage the weight on my back.
I am back into feeling joyful and thankful for exactly where I am.
Oh yeah, and my car has been sold in Ireland. I received a text message from my friend who was taking care of it for me in Ireland yesterday. So little by little, the last ties with Ireland are dissolving, making way for new adventures.
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Wrecked
So I am back in France.
Tired.
Can barely keep my eyes open and yet it is not even 11pm.
It feels like I haven't slept in days.
I probably have slept, but maybe it is a post-traumatic something I am going through. After all it is kind of a big change to suddenly leave everything I had built for myself and all my friends and come back to my parents.
I am not going to leave for the Santiago pilgrimage straight away. I can feel I need to settle down first, rest and ground myself a bit again.
Maybe I'll leave in a week or ten days or so.
I only arrived home last night, and today went to Bordeaux for the whole day to buy all the equipment I need for Santiago. I found everything I wanted but obviously it tired me.
And it is just weird to be here in a small room where there are already some things in the cupboards, trying to fit my stuff when I had my own place for so long. And then on top of it having people sleeping in my room with me when all other rooms are taken.
I miss my space.
I am sure I will sort out something with my parents so that I can settle and feel good, but in the meantime it just feels weird. It is completely different to be here with all my stuff and nowhere else to do, than to be here on holidays for a couple of weeks before going back home somewhere else.
I will adjust to it I am sure.
But for now, I'll go to bed and hope tomorrow will be a bit closer to me being more centered, grounded and back to normal.
Tired.
Can barely keep my eyes open and yet it is not even 11pm.
It feels like I haven't slept in days.
I probably have slept, but maybe it is a post-traumatic something I am going through. After all it is kind of a big change to suddenly leave everything I had built for myself and all my friends and come back to my parents.
I am not going to leave for the Santiago pilgrimage straight away. I can feel I need to settle down first, rest and ground myself a bit again.
Maybe I'll leave in a week or ten days or so.
I only arrived home last night, and today went to Bordeaux for the whole day to buy all the equipment I need for Santiago. I found everything I wanted but obviously it tired me.
And it is just weird to be here in a small room where there are already some things in the cupboards, trying to fit my stuff when I had my own place for so long. And then on top of it having people sleeping in my room with me when all other rooms are taken.
I miss my space.
I am sure I will sort out something with my parents so that I can settle and feel good, but in the meantime it just feels weird. It is completely different to be here with all my stuff and nowhere else to do, than to be here on holidays for a couple of weeks before going back home somewhere else.
I will adjust to it I am sure.
But for now, I'll go to bed and hope tomorrow will be a bit closer to me being more centered, grounded and back to normal.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)