Tomorrow, tomorrow

I have at last emptied my suitcases.
I have put books on bookshelves, things in cupboards and drawers, and pictures on the walls.
I am officially settled in France, at my parents.
I couldn't imagine coming back after my one month walk to unemptied suitcases and a messy bedroom.
At least, I will feel like I have a place of my own when I come back.
Somehow, it makes me feel more joyful, and I feel like I can leave now, my heart lighter because I know I can come back home.
Amazing really if I think about it. I am about to leave everything and spend one month with all my possessions in a rucksack on my back. Talk about finding it hard to feel grounded!
Interestingly, I tend to need a home, somewhere cozy where I have all my stuff, where I can go and be alone and feel good. Somewhere I can feel everything I need to feel, a place that nurtures me and helps me to get over any hard time.
I was never attracted to the idea of backpacking around the world. Too superficial for me, and also too hard to live for a long time without a home.
And yet that's exactly what I am going to do for a month. But not quite.
I will only walk, and my point is not really touristic. It is more of an inner search, a longing for new faces, landscapes, and sides of my self to discover. I am going to walk. I will not see any place I cannot walk to. I won't fly here and there, leave the rucksack for a few days while I tour an area.
I will be a pilgrim. Looking for something, without quite knowing what it is.
Feeling that something is pushing me in my back, and obeying the inner voice that is pulling me forward, no matter in which direction, no matter how crazy it seems.
A very special time of my life is starting tomorrow.