mud, rain and thunder

Today was tough.
I had heard that the third and fourth days walking were potentially the hardest, but this was really really hard, even for people who had been walking for longer than I had.
It started quite well, with a lovely sunrise on a nicely foggy fresh morning. Plenty of birds, and flowers, absolutely gorgeous.
Then at around 9am, it started raining really badly. It was a big storm really, with lightning and thunder and all, and by the time I and my friend Alice arrived in Obanos, we were soaked. So we stopped in a bar, had a coffee and something to eat, and chatted for a while (i.e. almost an hour and a half...).
By the time we arrived in Puento La Reina (meaning bridge of the queen because the queen at some stage got the bridge built for the pilgrims because she was sick of seeing so many of them killed by the river), we could almost have stopped there for the night, as it was about 12 and the albergue was opening. But we felt fine, so we decided to book a bed in an albergue (which is rarely possible, but we were lucky with this one) 8 or 10 km later, and walk them.
However... Most of the path was mud. Some of it was very steep, and we ended up exhausted. Really exhausted.
But we made it.
My feet are sore for the first time tonight, and I am thinking of buying new shoes tomorrow, and throwing away the ones I have, as I noticed today that they are not comfortable enough to finish the way, and they are too old, the soles are too damaged. I prefer to have sore feet for two days while I break the new shoes in, and be fine for the next month, rather than be miserable for the rest of the walk. So there.
Apart from the hard day walk, it was beautiful, and the weather was fine this afternoon. Not that we enjoyed it that much, but at least it allowed our clothes to dry...
The meal tonight at the albergue was absolutely fabulous, and the lady who takes care of it is really lovely.
And as usual, I keep meeting more and more people and that is really nice.
So Ultreia, as they say!

Third day

So this is my third day.
Even though I was in Pamplona yesterday evening I didn't get a chance to go to an internet cafe.
I walked 21.5km yesterday. Thought I wouldn't manage, and had planned to stop at the town before Pamplona, 5 or 6 km beforehand, but met a nice lady from Geneva (well who lives in Geneva but originally from the German speaking part of Switzerland, near Schaffhausen), and who was walking until Pamplona, and before I knew it I was there as well.
We got the last two places in a very nice private albergue held by Germans, and populated mostly by Germans as well, and even got a nice room, just the two of us, at the very top of the house, with steep stairs to get in, a tower really. We could sleep really well and so today was much easier than if we hadn't slept well. We even got breakfast!! Not like the first morning where there was no breakfast, and the dining room was closed when we left, so we couldn't even get a coffee from the machine before leaving.
Yesterday was gorgeous and warm, so in the afternoon I went into town and tried to look for the churches that are not to be missed in Pamplona. I wanted to buy some food as well for today and yesterday evening, and by the time I had found all I wanted I was too tired to go looking for an internet cafe or indeed a church.
It seems that now, on the camino francés, there is a sort of race that every pilgrim goes through in order to find a bed in the evening. When I say evening, think 12:30 pm or so.
By 1pm at the latest, most albergues are full. That makes it very hard to enjoy the path, stop to look around, relax, take pictures, and enjoy life. Pilgrims leave the albergues as soon as possible, often just after 6am, and from then on, the main thought is: will I find a bed? Thinking that most days we try to walk 20 km or more, which takes at least 5 hours considering the weight of the bag, and the state of the path, it leaves little time for breaks or relaxation.
Because of that we are more tired. As a result when we get into a town or a city, we really have little strength left to go walking around town and play the tourist.
So really pilgrims are not tourists, and maybe that's ok, but I met many people who are disappointed that they can't take their time.
For me so far it has worked well, but I am thinking of trying and stopping every day if possible somewhere between the two usual places that most people stop at. That way I should have less people and more chances of getting a bed.
But we will see how it goes.
So far things are good, my shoulders are a bit sore, but getting better, and I feel already stronger when I am walking. Yet today is the third day and I heard that the third and fourth day are the worst. Well, if this is the worst, it is FINE!!

First day on the path, ouch!!

So today I started walking.
From Burguete and not from Roncesvalles, because when I tried to find somewhere to stay in Roncesvalles yesterday with my aunt, after driving down, everything was full. So we went 3 km further, which meant 3km less today, and I was very thankful for that today.
I have walked 17.5 km today, lots of tough slopes up and down - we are still in the Pyrenees really - and many places were slippery because of the foggy rain that was making everything wet. I am glad I found a bed in the albergue here, as the first few albergues I came across were complete.
Of course my feet are sore, my knees, thighs and shoulders as well, but it was mostly a nice day, not too hot and I met plenty of people.
We'll see how things go later on. I won't make it much longer now as I have only a few minutes left with the internet connection.
So far, so good!

Tomorrow, tomorrow

I have at last emptied my suitcases.
I have put books on bookshelves, things in cupboards and drawers, and pictures on the walls.
I am officially settled in France, at my parents.
I couldn't imagine coming back after my one month walk to unemptied suitcases and a messy bedroom.
At least, I will feel like I have a place of my own when I come back.
Somehow, it makes me feel more joyful, and I feel like I can leave now, my heart lighter because I know I can come back home.
Amazing really if I think about it. I am about to leave everything and spend one month with all my possessions in a rucksack on my back. Talk about finding it hard to feel grounded!
Interestingly, I tend to need a home, somewhere cozy where I have all my stuff, where I can go and be alone and feel good. Somewhere I can feel everything I need to feel, a place that nurtures me and helps me to get over any hard time.
I was never attracted to the idea of backpacking around the world. Too superficial for me, and also too hard to live for a long time without a home.
And yet that's exactly what I am going to do for a month. But not quite.
I will only walk, and my point is not really touristic. It is more of an inner search, a longing for new faces, landscapes, and sides of my self to discover. I am going to walk. I will not see any place I cannot walk to. I won't fly here and there, leave the rucksack for a few days while I tour an area.
I will be a pilgrim. Looking for something, without quite knowing what it is.
Feeling that something is pushing me in my back, and obeying the inner voice that is pulling me forward, no matter in which direction, no matter how crazy it seems.
A very special time of my life is starting tomorrow.

Soon the first step

OK now I can feel it is time to start the walk soon.
I am as ready as I can be right now, and waiting more will only make me scared.
I already had my fear-migraine so that's done now, and I can start really doing it.
Of course I could prepare myself even more, redo my rucksack another few times to make sure I have everything I need and nothing I might not need, I could go walking another few times to try and do 20 km at least once with the bag before leaving.
But I feel that would only be procrastination.
Now is the time.
So I need to really trust, and make the leap. The most difficult is the first step, they say.
So let's take that first step, and go!!
I just called my aunt tonight because she will be the one who drives me to my starting point, just after the Pyrenees in Spain. She will come and collect me on Wednesday morning, so we have time to go down nicely, taking all the time we need, and I can start walking on Thursday morning.
And then off I go, and I can only trust that all will be well.
I know all will be well.