Today I had a pretty awful migraine. I have no idea where it came from, but it sure put me down for the day.
I started to feel the headache coming just before lunch, and then felt nauseous, so badly that I had to go to bed before the end of the meal.
I mostly spent my afternoon sleeping, waking up every time with my head thumping, and if I was brave enough to get up I was sure to have the nausea hurrying back after a few minutes.
It is only starting now to be better, so I could eat almost normally tonight, but I feel exhausted. Strange, after all the time I spent sleeping today!!
I wonder if somehow that migraine isn't a sign of some apprehension or fear in front of what I am about to start, i.e. the long hard walk to Santiago. The 5 to 6 hours walk every day in the Spanish heat, the worry about my shoes (are they not too old to manage 800km? I can already see the soles are worn, will they manage the distance?), being alone on the path, being in Spain where I barely speak the language, not knowing how things work there, will the bag not be too heavy (but then if I remove things from it now will I not miss them?). Yes, I can feel all these worries at the bottom of my mind, churning in me even when I am not aware of them.
I can also feel the excitement, the longing of my soul for the adventure, the freedom, the new people to meet and new landscapes to discover. And mostly the excitement of discovering myself throughout it all.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Last things to prepare...
Today I went into town to buy the last few things I need to go walking.
I bought some homeopathic remedies for first aid purposes, and am very happy that I got small tubes with granules that are really small and very light.
I have another few bits and pieces to get tomorrow, but mostly I have everything sorted so I can start thinking seriously of what I will put in the rucksack, in which pocket, and how heavy it will be. This part is a lot of fun. I always enjoyed sorting things out, knowing what belongs where, packing everything neatly. On top of it I always loved bags!!
Today was very hot here, the temperature reached 34°C!! It is a pleasure to walk around in shorts and T-shirt.
I am aware though that the heat makes walking harder. But that's OK. Santiago pilgrims leave very early in the morning anyway, in order to be at the next albergue around 12pm, and to avoid the heat as well.
Well I'd better go and organise my stuff now.
Talk soon!
I bought some homeopathic remedies for first aid purposes, and am very happy that I got small tubes with granules that are really small and very light.
I have another few bits and pieces to get tomorrow, but mostly I have everything sorted so I can start thinking seriously of what I will put in the rucksack, in which pocket, and how heavy it will be. This part is a lot of fun. I always enjoyed sorting things out, knowing what belongs where, packing everything neatly. On top of it I always loved bags!!
Today was very hot here, the temperature reached 34°C!! It is a pleasure to walk around in shorts and T-shirt.
I am aware though that the heat makes walking harder. But that's OK. Santiago pilgrims leave very early in the morning anyway, in order to be at the next albergue around 12pm, and to avoid the heat as well.
Well I'd better go and organise my stuff now.
Talk soon!
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Training, more training
Today I only walked 7km, but yesterday I did a bit over 13km, might have been 14 or so.
Yesterday the weather wasn't great, quite cloudy, but pleasantly warm with a light breeze. The ideal weather to walk. Not too hot, not too cold.
So I walked a big tour around the house, and I realised how beautiful it is everywhere around here.
I was walking mostly on the top of hills, and had an amazing view on the hills, little forests, vineyards and fields of cereal on both sides. I even saw a falcon and its baby hovering over a field. I wished I had taken my binoculars with me, but I became acutely aware today, when I tried to walk with a heavier bag, that every gram counts when I have to carry it.
The wheat is still green but already high in the fields. It feels like the whole of nature is blooming.
I could feel my heart singing as I was walking, almost flying, taking in the scenery and atmosphere around me. By the end of the walk I was still singing, but rather to give myself the courage to get over the last two or three kilometers. I think I will sing a lot while I walk towards Santiago. :-)
Today I just went to the next village, but even though I walked about half the distance of yesterday, my bag was heavier and it was harder.
We'll see how I feel tomorrow and what I'll do. I will just go with the flow. I have to buy the last few things I need for the trip, e.g. first aid stuff and so. Then I will have to really screen through absolutely everything I put in the rucksack.
Well, all that preparation is fun in a way. I can feel that a bit adventure is in front of me, and I am excited and scared at the same time.
The good thing is, I don't think anymore about not being grounded or being in a transition. I have a purpose, and nothing else matters much...
Yesterday the weather wasn't great, quite cloudy, but pleasantly warm with a light breeze. The ideal weather to walk. Not too hot, not too cold.
So I walked a big tour around the house, and I realised how beautiful it is everywhere around here.
I was walking mostly on the top of hills, and had an amazing view on the hills, little forests, vineyards and fields of cereal on both sides. I even saw a falcon and its baby hovering over a field. I wished I had taken my binoculars with me, but I became acutely aware today, when I tried to walk with a heavier bag, that every gram counts when I have to carry it.
The wheat is still green but already high in the fields. It feels like the whole of nature is blooming.
I could feel my heart singing as I was walking, almost flying, taking in the scenery and atmosphere around me. By the end of the walk I was still singing, but rather to give myself the courage to get over the last two or three kilometers. I think I will sing a lot while I walk towards Santiago. :-)
Today I just went to the next village, but even though I walked about half the distance of yesterday, my bag was heavier and it was harder.
We'll see how I feel tomorrow and what I'll do. I will just go with the flow. I have to buy the last few things I need for the trip, e.g. first aid stuff and so. Then I will have to really screen through absolutely everything I put in the rucksack.
Well, all that preparation is fun in a way. I can feel that a bit adventure is in front of me, and I am excited and scared at the same time.
The good thing is, I don't think anymore about not being grounded or being in a transition. I have a purpose, and nothing else matters much...
Sunday, May 6, 2007
New beginnings
So Nicolas Sarkozy won the presidential elections in France today. That is a major new page starting for France.
We'll see what comes from that. It felt like a lot of people really didn't know who to vote for. It was a tough one. And as usual, it is very difficult to know how he will actually lead the country.
So we'll wait and see I suppose. An incredible high number of people voted anyway so that's an interesting change. French people used to be disenchanted about politics, and it is amazing to see that over 84% of people voted.
In the meantime, I feel that I have settled a bit.
I haven't unpacked much, don't really feel like it yet. But I am not anxious about it anymore.
I have even started to go walking every day to train for the pilgrimage.
Yesterday I walked 7km, today 10km. I hope to get to 20km by the end of the week, as it is what I am going to walk most days for a month. So far so good, my feet are OK, even if I know I have to be careful with them, choose the socks wisely and find some good foot cream. I will start to train with the rucksack in a couple of days, and will load it so I know how I manage the weight on my back.
I am back into feeling joyful and thankful for exactly where I am.
Oh yeah, and my car has been sold in Ireland. I received a text message from my friend who was taking care of it for me in Ireland yesterday. So little by little, the last ties with Ireland are dissolving, making way for new adventures.
We'll see what comes from that. It felt like a lot of people really didn't know who to vote for. It was a tough one. And as usual, it is very difficult to know how he will actually lead the country.
So we'll wait and see I suppose. An incredible high number of people voted anyway so that's an interesting change. French people used to be disenchanted about politics, and it is amazing to see that over 84% of people voted.
In the meantime, I feel that I have settled a bit.
I haven't unpacked much, don't really feel like it yet. But I am not anxious about it anymore.
I have even started to go walking every day to train for the pilgrimage.
Yesterday I walked 7km, today 10km. I hope to get to 20km by the end of the week, as it is what I am going to walk most days for a month. So far so good, my feet are OK, even if I know I have to be careful with them, choose the socks wisely and find some good foot cream. I will start to train with the rucksack in a couple of days, and will load it so I know how I manage the weight on my back.
I am back into feeling joyful and thankful for exactly where I am.
Oh yeah, and my car has been sold in Ireland. I received a text message from my friend who was taking care of it for me in Ireland yesterday. So little by little, the last ties with Ireland are dissolving, making way for new adventures.
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Wrecked
So I am back in France.
Tired.
Can barely keep my eyes open and yet it is not even 11pm.
It feels like I haven't slept in days.
I probably have slept, but maybe it is a post-traumatic something I am going through. After all it is kind of a big change to suddenly leave everything I had built for myself and all my friends and come back to my parents.
I am not going to leave for the Santiago pilgrimage straight away. I can feel I need to settle down first, rest and ground myself a bit again.
Maybe I'll leave in a week or ten days or so.
I only arrived home last night, and today went to Bordeaux for the whole day to buy all the equipment I need for Santiago. I found everything I wanted but obviously it tired me.
And it is just weird to be here in a small room where there are already some things in the cupboards, trying to fit my stuff when I had my own place for so long. And then on top of it having people sleeping in my room with me when all other rooms are taken.
I miss my space.
I am sure I will sort out something with my parents so that I can settle and feel good, but in the meantime it just feels weird. It is completely different to be here with all my stuff and nowhere else to do, than to be here on holidays for a couple of weeks before going back home somewhere else.
I will adjust to it I am sure.
But for now, I'll go to bed and hope tomorrow will be a bit closer to me being more centered, grounded and back to normal.
Tired.
Can barely keep my eyes open and yet it is not even 11pm.
It feels like I haven't slept in days.
I probably have slept, but maybe it is a post-traumatic something I am going through. After all it is kind of a big change to suddenly leave everything I had built for myself and all my friends and come back to my parents.
I am not going to leave for the Santiago pilgrimage straight away. I can feel I need to settle down first, rest and ground myself a bit again.
Maybe I'll leave in a week or ten days or so.
I only arrived home last night, and today went to Bordeaux for the whole day to buy all the equipment I need for Santiago. I found everything I wanted but obviously it tired me.
And it is just weird to be here in a small room where there are already some things in the cupboards, trying to fit my stuff when I had my own place for so long. And then on top of it having people sleeping in my room with me when all other rooms are taken.
I miss my space.
I am sure I will sort out something with my parents so that I can settle and feel good, but in the meantime it just feels weird. It is completely different to be here with all my stuff and nowhere else to do, than to be here on holidays for a couple of weeks before going back home somewhere else.
I will adjust to it I am sure.
But for now, I'll go to bed and hope tomorrow will be a bit closer to me being more centered, grounded and back to normal.
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